jordan muck

Friday Night was Family Night at GeNESIS. It was a huge success and went over extremely well. I wanted to give a recap and provide an idea for other ministries that might be looking for ways to “connect” parents and students. One thing we constantly strive for at group is to get the parents connected with their kids and promote spiritual growth in families. It fits into our “vision” of going and making disciples and teaching people how to grow in a relationship with Christ.

We had the concept of family night for a few reasons….

1. To see parents interacting with their youth in our youth room and at a church.
2. To see parents communicating with their youth in a positive manner.
3. To see parents communicating and making connections with other parents.
4. To have one night without a television, cell phone (nobody gets reception downstairs), or other distractions.
5. To see some of our unchurched parents inside the church.
6. To have a really good time.

Friday was a perfect night for this event. It was lightly raining outside but not too cold so people could come out and relax inside. We were originally going to play a movie but we figured media needed to take the night off. We wanted our parents to interact with their kids. We also didn’t want to shove the Word down our parents throats so left the preaching for Sunday morning and Sunday night.

The Start

The one thing that was crucial to the night was making sure everything was set up before hand and well organized. We had popcorn, cookies, some pop (soda), coffee, and other goodies for families to pick at the entire night at our snack bar (a table works fine too). Our youth room has couches (which I cleaned before hand), a ping-pong table, and an air hockey table that were set up and ready for families when they arrived. We also had a few board games out for families as well. We wanted our parents to be comfortable so we had energetic music playing in the background (playing softly) the entire night. We started ten minutes late (everything starts 10 minutes late) so relaxing was another key element. Remember, go with the flow!

Beginning

We started the night with two fun worship songs that we do Sunday nights with our students. My wife (Bethany) and another high school student demonstrated the motions that we do along with the songs (call us old fashion if you will but it works every time). A few parents participated in singing and doing the motions which was awesome and a few just watched which was fine too. We focused on keeping the energy level high and having a good kick start to the evening. We used a good old acoustic guitar (unplugged) and a hand drum for the small worship set. We prayed after singing for the evening and then had everyone take a seat.

Activities

Before we started our activities I introduced our staff to the rest of the group. Most people already know these people but they might not know what they actually “do” for the youth programs we run. It was a great way to break the ice and transition into our first activity.

The first activity we did was play, “House on Fire”. This is an easy game where everyone gets a index card (I picked hot pink ones) in the room and a maker to write with. After everyone has the card I told everyone, “Your house is on fire, and everyone is safe. You have thirty seconds to run through the house and collect three or four articles you want to save. What would you grab?” I made sure that they did not show their student what they had written on their card and vise versa. After everyone has completed writing on the card we went around the room and introduced families by having the parent give three guesses on what they thought was on their students card and then flipped. It was a great way to get the night moving and learn about the things people value and all the families that were present. (If you have a large group concentrate on picking out families instead of doing everyone.) This worked out well as we saw some of our parents connect with other parents by learning what they would grab.

Break it Up

By the end of the game some of our younger kids were restless so we took a ten to fifteen minutes break to allow parents to talk and kids to blow off energy. People played ping pong, air hockey, and some quick board games. This was crutial to the night because it made everyone relaxed and not feel like we were on a schedule. (Remember, we want to build community and people need time to do that so let them talk. Also, parents don’t want to feel like they are on a schedule and neither do the students so stay relaxed and “flow” with the evening.)

Activity Two

We brought everyone back together for another activity. Bethany and I went on a cruise last year and saw the Newlywed game done a little different. We wanted to try this out with students and parents for awhile so this was a great opportunity to “pull it off”. We had four parents and their students sit back to back in chairs in the front of the room. I gave each of them a marker and a piece of paper (hot pink and blue!). (Note: We told the parents and students that were not “in front” that they could still participate in the game from their seats by following along.) I asked one question first to the parents and then had the student write down what they though their parents response would have been and then we switched. We switched it up in the middle of the game by giving families the opportunity to “swap out” their student with one of their other kids and vise versa with the students. (You can find so many versions of this game online.) The game was a hit and we had a few tie breaker questions at the end.

Wrapping it Up

After the game I had two power point slides with our upcoming activities at GeNESIS and some ways the parents can “connect” with what we are doing downstairs. I made sure this was fast and to the point because I wanted to give time for people to just hang out. I thanked everyone for coming and told them they could stick around to enjoy each others company by playing more games around the room if they wanted to. We “ended” at 8:40 on purpose to give families that opportunity. Almost everyone stuck around which was awesome to see.

Some of my thoughts on the night

• People not only came (which we thought we were going to be low on numbers) but they stayed, went out to eat afterward, communicated with each other, and left with smiles on their face. I was blown away at how well these people who we never though would “connect” did.
• You don’t need anything “popular” to have a good time. The only “media” we used was power point for worship and information. We used good old fashion couches, pens, makers, and paper to pull of the entire night.
• We worked with the people who were there. I would have loved to seen some other parents present but we were all excited with who we had show up.
• Everyone interacted no matter what age they were. We had high school students, junior high students, and elementary students all in the same place hanging out with mom and dad on a Friday night. It is possible.
• When you give God the chance to move and think something is impossible, He blows you out of the water.
• I was so proud of my staff and their effort.

I would encourage every youth pastor I know to have a family night. It was both rewarding and well received. Do your research and plan out a night for families. I put flyer’s in boxes, posted it on our website, and even had a sign up sheet in the church. I made sure everyone knew we were holding this event. I didn’t think that many people were coming but they poured in and we were so pumped to have all these parents and students together.

What are you doing to connect?

-Jordan