jordan muck

How do you help the young pastor conquer their first wedding ceremony?  That is the question i have been asking for the past couple of weeks.  This Saturday I have the honor of doing my buddy Justin Long’s wedding in Indiana.   Being young and only having a few years into the ministry I have no idea what goes on or even what I am supposed to do as a pastor for a wedding  (I must have missed this part in college).  I have been a part of, in a few, and even went through my own wedding and made it out safe but when it comes to officiating, I’m clueless.  However, thanks to my father and a few other aids, I have learned a lot the past few weeks about how to officiate a wedding.

Never “done” a wedding before?  Have no fear, I’m here to help.

• Work With the Bride – Most husbands are clueless when it comes to the wedding.  The bride, on the other hand, has been planning this day since she could walk.  This is her day and it’s your job to make her feel relaxed and comfortable.  There are a lot of good sample ceremonies on the web to provide a good framework to follow (For an example click here).  Provide the bride with a few suggestions to browse through and then start tweaking the ceremony with her from there.
• Work with the Pastor of the Church – If you’re in your own congregation, don’t worry about this rule.  However, if you are a guest in another church officiating the ceremony, you will need to talk to the senior pastor to make sure your not stepping on any toes and doing things to his pleasing.  Be polite, honest, and respectful of someone else’s ministry.  Remember, you are a quest in someone else’s house.
• Keep your Challenge Short – Nobody came to hear you preach.  If they did it would be Sunday morning and the congregation would be in church clothes with bulletins in their hands instead of a wedding program.  Highlight a few verses dealing with Marriage (Genesis 2, Psalm 127, Ephesians 5:21-33, etc) and make it personal to the couple getting married.
• Give Good Directions to Follow – Everyone is going to be nervous so make sure you’re providing solid direction for both the rehearsal and the actual wedding day.  Tell the couple where they need to go so everything flows better.  This means you will need to be organized and ready to go for rehearsal.   Make sure that you’re patient with the maid of honor and the bride as they will be moving the brides dress and getting her in place whenever she moves during the wedding.  This also applies to the rings.  Make sure you say which hand and finger to put the ring on.  Don’t leave the couple hanging.
• Keep Prayers Simple and Personal – A long winded prayer could put Grandma and Grandpa to sleep (and who knows who else).  Make sure your keeping the prayers focused on the couple and the event.  There is nothing wrong with writing out a prayer before hand, just make sure it flows and is sincere.
• Use Your Resources – My father (a pastor of 40 years) was extremely helpful in putting the loose ends together for Justin’s wedding.  Talk to pastors and ask lots of questions.  Make sure your not forgetting anything.  My grandpa wrote a service manual for pastors that is a wonderful tool for the preacher to have.  You can find similar books and tools like it here.
• Be Professional - Seriously, this is not a time for you to make comments that are inappropriate or that will “cheapen” the wedding.  I don’t care if the groom is your best friend, be professional all the time.  Marriage is a serious event designed by God and it demands your undivided attention.  Give your best and honor God with your actions on this special day.

Did I miss anything?

-Jordan