Proverbs 14:17 and 29 “People with a hot temper do foolish things. If you stay calm, you are wise, but if you have a hot temper, you only show how stupid you are.“
Totally lost it tonight for the most stupid thing in the world. I used to have a really bad temper back in the day. I got a hold on it but every so often it comes back to rear its angry head. The worst part of the whole experience is I let Satan get a foothold. I gave him an inch and he took it a mile. Let me confess my sin with the world. The story goes like this.
Man takes dog out to go to the bathroom before bed so dog doesn’t wake man up at four in the morning like he has done every day this week. After being patient and letting dog sniff around for a half hour, man grows impatient. Man tells dog in a nice way that he really needs to poop or man will show the dog who’s higher in the food chain. Man starts to heat up like a piece of food in a pressure cooker. Man can feel the anger build inside of him. Man goes to God and asks for a spiritual “cold shower”. The rain doesn’t come. Man asks again, still no water. Man gets more and more upset. Man goes to tell wife he is about to explode over something completely ridiculous. Wife laughs at him, man explodes and puts a hole in the bedroom door.
Oh, it’s not over yet.
Furthermore, man sees the error of his ways and grows frustrated at himself that Satan got the best of him. Man is now wrestling with himself internally. Man goes to calm down in the bedroom. Man nails his foot on the metal doorstop that is securely fastened in the ground in the hallway. Man says words they don’t say on television. Man realizes even more that Satan is getting the better half. Man hates Satan, man hates himself. Man realizes he is human, and fails often. Man starts to cry.
End of story….kinda.
I feel so stupid! I feel like such a failure. The terms “stupid” and “fool” in Proverbs refer to sin and error. I was full of sin and error tonight. I made a mistake, I sinned. I’m human. I can’t let that be my excuse. I must learn from what happened to ensure that it never happens again. The only way to do that is with God’s help. I spend a lot of time in repentance tonight after the whole storm calmed down. I apologized to the people involved (and the dog). I got right with God. I asked Him to show me what I could learn in this situation and what I could do differently next time. I asked Him what I could learn.
Why am I telling you this? I think sometimes people think pastors are super human and never screw up. Well I just told you that I did. I can even assure you that I will sin again. However, I must not allow myself to use my sin as an excuse for being human. I have to get back up, shake myself off, ask forgiveness, and move on so that God can continue to do a great work in me. If we don’t learn from our failures and confess our sin, God can’t use us. We have to learn and carry on. I felt like quiting everything tonight because I screwed up. I feel like I took so many steps backwards. That’s what the enemy wants me to believe. With God its a different story. God tells me I am forgiven. He tells me to never give up, to step forward, and to reject the lies of the wicked one.
Don’t get down in your sin. Repent. Satan may have won a battle or two but with Christ, we win the war.
-Jordan
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