jordan muck

I think the month of July was the roughest month Bethany and I have experienced as a married couple. However, it was such an intense, amazing month to see how “real” we really are. Like who would have thought that Bethany and I are real people! I think in the ministry people want you to be super pastor some times failing to acknowledge that you are a real person with real problems just like they are. I was sitting back the other day reflecting on the events that took place this month while I was remembering my prayer life last month. I don’t know what happened but I stood (or more sat) shell shocked at how many prayers God answered from the month before.

I come across as a very passionate human (no way, me?). Every thing I do I want to do it at the best of my ability. I speak the truth because God tells me to. I excel because God tells me to. I want everything to be number one because God tells me to. It’s sounds cocky but if you read the bible it’s all in there, I promise. Sometimes while I’m at my best, I screw things up on a royal level. It seems that my best is not always God’s best or what God had originally intended because He wasn’t invited to come cater to the task at hand. You see the word “my” is the problem. I forget that this relationship is a marriage that needs a collaboration instead of a one man show. I can’t do things without God and God can’t work through me if i don’t bring him along.

This whole month I wanted to do things my way forgetting that God’s best is when I embrace Him to accomplish tasks, desires, and needs. That is exactly what I prayed for last month, that God would show me new things. Well he showed me that i can’t do things on my own. I brought God along on a few things and he came through with flying colors teaching and instructing me what to do and how to act. We kicked butt for the kingdom at the start of the month all because I stayed true by his side. However, the times that I wandered or more forgot and did things on my own strength, God was in the background like a little kid wanting to come along and I wouldn’t let him because I thought I was better on my own. Sure I know this now but the question is what am I going to do about it?

I think about David, Peter, Aaron, and all the other dudes that thought they could do it on their own only to find out that they were absolutely nothing but voices returning to their creator asking for forgiveness. They were dudes just like me trying to figure out how to keep God’s relationship pure without letting there attitudes get in the way. Paul talked about this a lot. Paul had to struggle man. I can relate because of his past and seeing what he went through. Things in your old life just don’t die when you accept Christ. I saw that come out this month as I did things on my own. My temper flared, my mouth got out of control, my attitude was jacked. All because I forgot to seek first the kingdom of God.

“I can anticipate the response that is coming: “I know that all God’s commands are spiritual, but I’m not. Isn’t this also your experience?” Yes. I’m full of myself—after all, I’ve spent a long time in sin’s prison. What I don’t understand about myself is that I decide one way, but then I act another, doing things I absolutely despise. So if I can’t be trusted to figure out what is best for myself and then do it, it becomes obvious that God’s command is necessary. But I need something more! For if I know the law but still can’t keep it, and if the power of sin within me keeps sabotaging my best intentions, I obviously need help! I realize that I don’t have what it takes. I can will it, but I can’t do it. I decide to do good, but I don’t really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don’t result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time.” -Paul

God helps those who seek him and stay with him. God help me stay with you this month, your in control.

-Jordan